Awkward Couples Aren’t Your Problem

There are times I sit alone and wonder, like, “Why God… Why would you, like, put these people in my life? By people, I quite obviously mean awkward couples! Seriously though, it’s like, OMG the most annoying thing in, like, the entire world totally.  I see them when I eat lunch, when I get my mail from the basement of the CC, when I walk from one small campus building to another, and even when I am in the only coffee shop in Houghton. Like really though? Why are they so much everywhere? Couldn’t they, like not be in relationships or something? Isn’t there like, lots more attractive people who could kiss in public places and cuddle on couches? I would be totes okay with it if they weren’t just so weird looking. Hot people cuddling in Gillette? I don’t think anyone would like, complain about that, like ever.”

 Note: The views above do not reflect the views of the author and are entirely fictional.

I recently stumbled across the Twitter account: @HCawkcouples or HC awkward couples.  To say that I was a little disturbed would be an understatement – disgusted would perhaps be a fitting alternative? As I scrolled down the page, my anger continued to spike as stalker-pictures of said “couples” rolled up the screen of my Mac. Along with the pictures were obnoxious comments pertaining to awkward couple tips and snarky comments designed only to make one’s self feel better at the expense of others. (By others here I actually mean the people whose pictures were taken and posted to social media without their knowledge.)

After my initial disgust wore off, I became sad for my fellow students – that we live day-to-day waiting for Houghton stereotypes to be fulfilled.  However, I was more disappointed that we – a body of students who claim to be followers of Christ – resort to such petty activities. Please understand, I am not a Bible-thumping, fire-brandishing troglodyte come to call God’s vengeance upon you. I am simply another student, another Christian, offering my feelings up (for what will most likely be public rebuke).

Now, let’s be honest, we – including me – have all made sarcastic comments about awkward couples or passing remarks regarding the people whose daily patterns seem to never differ. This established, my response to this Twitter page is this – SO WHAT? Why do you care enough about who dates who that you put the effort into maintaining a Twitter feed about the topic? It is, to put it plainly, entirely un-Christ-like. What part of “loving others” can be translated into “Tweet about those who are different than you?”

When we all leave Houghton and go out into the real world (and yes that is a thing), we are going to be confronted routinely by people who are different than we are.  More often than not there will be people who view us the same way. How would you feel if it were you? How would you feel knowing that entire conversations are taking place online about the habits of you and your significant other? Just get over yourselves people.  There are times when the Grandma Rule needs to be applied: If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. In the words of Mean Girls: “Calling somebody else fat won’t make you any skinnier. Calling someone stupid doesn’t make you any smarter… All you can do in life is try to solve the problem in front of you.” Seriously, people, if this type of moral can be presented in such a vapid movie, then can’t we figure it out too?