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Married To My Maiden Name

In May, I got married. It was cold, chaotic, and it snowed. It was everything I imagined and more. Months leading up to the ceremony were filled with so many decisions it made my head spin. One of the biggest decisions I had to make, though, was if I wanted to change my last name following the wedding. It was the normal thing to do, so normal I found myself changing my Facebook name and Instagram handle the day after the wedding. That’s just what you do, right?

Photo by: Anthony Burdo
Photo by: Nate Moore

It should have seemed like a natural thing to do, so I was confused when I found myself struggling to go through with the legal process. It was so permanent. I thought about it for months, and the more I thought about it, I couldn’t make myself go through with the process, at least not at this point in time.

When it comes down to it, people, whether adopting a nickname, naming a child, or taking a spouse’s last name after marriage, should spend more than a moment deciding to make the switch. Names are important and should reflect the unique identity God created in each of us. However, with cultural expectations and unique names encouraged by a ‘hipster’ culture our making names are less meaningful and more practical. Celebrities are calling their children Satchel, Sistine, Sunday, Casper, Apple, Suri, North, Reign, Blue Ivy, and Elula. This speaks volumes about how little we value names, and their potential to foster the identities of future generations.

To me, my name is so much more than letters placed on a legal document. My name is years of family loyalty and memories. My name is, and always has been my identity. My name grew with me, as I shed the formality of Danielle Eaton, and matured into Dani Eaton. To give that up felt like giving up part of myself.

daniquoteNames, once a source of identifying profession, have evolved over the years with their importance being overlooked more and more. Names have become more labels and cultures than anything. Think, for example, of the Kardashians. This is a name so many people recognize around the world, but, instead of fostering a unique identity, has fostered a culture around their name, making it a material item. Children born into the Kardashian family will be forced to follow into their footsteps of producing an image and being known for their iconic looks. This is (hopefully) not what people think of when they think of Eaton.

Additionally, today’s society spoon feeds the idea of uniqueness to people, but not the identities that come with a name, and the identity that God wishes us to have. In the Bible it says God knows us by name. In John 10:3 it says, “To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.” He calls his sheep by name, not by “the one in the red shirt,” “the unique one that has the cool hobbies,” or even “the one with the purple hair.” If our name was nothing more than letters on paper, then why would God make a point to call us by it?

Right now, I don’t know who Danielle Bullard is. She seems foreign and unfamiliar to me, and maybe in time that will change. I’m sure as Danielle turned into Dani, if Eaton turns into Bullard, my identity will then, once again, change. But that’s okay with me, as God didn’t intend for me to stay one person for the rest of my life. He intended for me to grow, and for my identity to change, as he intends for all of us. Value your name as God values you, and please don’t name your children after fruit.

Dani is a senior majoring in communication and writing