Recently, #MeToo has been trending all over social media. This campaign is a response to Harvey Weinstein’s scandal, which led dozens of famous actresses abused by Weinstein to speak out. This further led women all over the world to open up about their stories of sexual abuse and harassment, using #MeToo. The campaign slowly picked up its pace until it filled up our news feeds. I was a victim of sexual abuse at a young age, and a part of me wanted to boldly speak up like everyone else, but the other part of me wanted to run to the hills and pretend as if nothing happened.
I am saddened but also in awe of the stories shared by countless victims. As a victim myself, I know and understand how hard it is to open up about something so personal. There is something about talking about our experiences out loud that has so much healing. The past, the trauma, the lies: their hold is destroyed the minute we speak out loud. Because speaking the truth makes it reality, this is hard to face for many survivors. We put the memories in our hearts, wrap them neatly like a present and store them in the depths of our hearts, making these memories seem like a dream. We hope that one day we will forget. When we choose to say it out loud, we are letting the reality sink in. We are saying, “Yes! This has happened to me. It was real.” Then we ask ourselves, “Now, how do I face it? How do I help others get through this?”
This is the part where I am not so sure about the #MeToo campaign. Many people have said that this campaign will “give people a sense of the magnitude of the problem.” I know that sexual abuse and harassment are not recent problems. In Genesis, we are given the story of Lot and his daughters in Genesis 19:30-36, and we can never know the untold stories of abuse before the time of Lot. Given this long and disturbing history, I believe it is not enough to simply create awareness of the problem. The #MeToo campaign can provide a place for conversations to start, but it worries my heart that this will just be another social media trend that will die down in a couple of days.
I see that the #MeToo campaign is surely showing the magnitude of the problem, but failing to provide solutions. We must go beyond posting statuses. Using this campaign as a starting place could look like sitting down and talking to the people who posted #MeToo as their status. Even on the Houghton campus alone, many people are affected by sexual violence. Are we reaching out to them? Are we seriously sitting down to think and pray about this issue?
During awareness campaigns like this, it is so easy to think women are the only victims. I want to take this opportunity to remind the world that men also get raped. In an androcentric world, somehow when it comes to abuse we often forget that men are also victims of sexual abuse and harassment, and most of the time their abusers are men, though sometimes they are women. I cannot imagine the pain and restlessness of the men who are scrolling through these stories of women and cringing inside with helplessness, but this campaign is for them, too. My brothers, you matter. Your abuse is important. It was real and it was not fair. To you, all silent sufferers, who are struggling with the conflict of saying anything at all behind the screens, you are not forgotten.
Amidst of all this, let us not forget that there is hope. This is to all the victims who boldly posted #MeToo and also for survivors like me who are struggling behind the screen; there is so much hope in Jesus Christ. We live in a society and culture where people shame us for being in situations we didn’t want. They call us names and feed lies to our hearts. It is important to remember that it is not our fault. Regardless of our past, we are accepted in the family of God. Isaiah 43:4 speaks to the people of God, saying “You are priceless to me, I will love and honor you.” We need to remember that through all of the darkness, God has always been there holding us together and in him there is so much grace, healing and restoration.
Abuse is hard and ugly. It takes years to process through what happened and to heal. Sometimes it’s a never ending process and you can only take it one day at a time. There will be endless nights full of suffering with images coming back and it may feel like this is the end. Please, know this is not the end. And to my brothers and sisters, who are saddened hearing the stories of abuse, we need you to stand with us through hard times, to sit in silence with us as we cry, and to support us as we raise our voice and our stories. And to the silent survivors, who still have their abuse and experience hidden, please reach out. The longer you hide, the longer it’s going to destroy you. Please know that there is help around. As a Christian community, and as believers, let us be different. Let us use #MeToo as a platform to start conversations. Let us do something not just by words, but also by actions.
Theresa is a junior majoring in clinical psychology.
We, as a society, aren’t holding men to the standard that we could be. Why do we continue to ask women “what did you do to provoke the attack?” when we should really be asking men “what could you have done to prevent the attack?” And the problem is rooted deeper than just physical attacks on women. We all, men and women alike, need to stop treating women as inferior beings only obsessed with the latest hairstyles or fashions. We need to stop using gendered insults that imply women are weaker and lesser, and we need to start teaching boys and girls at a much younger age that girls should be valued for more than her looks.