It’s no secret that we, as Houghton College students, love our ice cream. In fact, we have good reason to be proud of our ice cream eating reputation. According to our dining services, Houghton College consumes roughly 3,000 gallons of ice cream per year. Moreover, Houghton students have concocted novel ways to enjoy ice cream in a broader range of contexts than just a traditional cone or dish. In the dining hall, I have marveled at the ingenuity of students as they enjoy hand-churned milkshakes, banana splits, orange soda floats, and ice cream melting over waffles fresh from the iron.
With our dedication to cultivating the art of ice cream consumption, a question naturally arises: why not create a unique Houghton ice cream flavor? After all, the dining hall serves flavors dedicated to other schools, such as ’Cuse 44 after Syracuse University and Tiger Tracks for R.I.T. If any college deserves an ice cream flavor in its honor, Houghton College does.
Obviously, the question now becomes what ice cream flavor would best represent Houghton? We could have blackberry lemon to show off our school colors. Or we might want to support athletics with some Luckey Lion Licorice. Perhaps we should embrace the wintry weather that blankets campus for most of the academic calendar with a Highlander Hot Chocolate flavored ice cream. What about SPOT ice cream (Salted Peanut Oreo Taffy)? We could pay tribute to our Scottish heritage with Banana Brownie Bagpipe Brigade. Instead, we could remember our theological roots with John Wesley’s Purified Vanilla or observe the Statement of Community Responsibilities with a grape-flavored Can’t-Believe-It’s-Not-Wine! If we are feeling especially audacious, we might even try to image a flavor called Shen Bloc Shock (or maybe we had better not. . . .)
Needless to say, there are endless possibilities for a Houghton College ice cream flavor. But who gets to decide which flavor best represents Houghton? Like any good diplomatic decision, we clearly would need to form a committee to narrow down the options to the best contenders. Of course, we would then need to hold a vote in order to give all students, faculty, staff, and alumni an equal opportunity to influence such a historic decision.
However, maybe a single ice cream flavor cannot possibly encapsulate all of the spirit and creativity of Houghton College. Maybe the best way to approach a Houghton ice cream flavor is to have a Flavor of the Year. A new flavor could be unveiled each year at homecoming. Alternatively, we could make the ice cream choosing process a senior privilege. Only students planning to graduate during that particular academic year would get to submit a flavor idea and vote for the annual winner. The flavor could be revealed at graduation and could be served during the following school year as a sort of class gift or continuing legacy of the recent graduates until the next graduation flavor is disclosed. (Or perhaps this is a foolish system as it might tempt graduates to play mischievous tricks on underclassmen by leaving them with flavors such as a medicinal Houghton Plague Antidote or Letchworth Liver and Leek.)
Regardless of the logistics for deciding on a flavor, Houghton College undoubtedly needs its own ice cream. Perhaps this pressing issue can make an appearance on the agenda for the next meeting of the Sixth Executive Council. With all the ice cream connoisseurs nurtured by this school, it is simply inconceivable that we do not have an ice cream flavor of our own.
Abigail is a senior majoring in writing and art.