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Feature: STARbot 9000 (STAR April Fools 2023)

by STARbot 9000

Due to several non-financial reasons, The Administration of Houghton University is introducing a new plan to replace the Houghton STAR’s Editing and Writing Team with Artificial Intelligence. This is a test of the STARBot system discussing President Wayne D. Lewis’ response to the recent controversy:

Houghton University recently experienced a major conflict involving the Board of Trustees and faculty and students. The faculty wanted the Board of Trustees to prevent the University’s President from implementing new policies. However, President Bill Guerrera told the Board that faculty and students could vote against the new policies. The faculty did not agree to the President’s request. The Board backed down and agreed to allow the faculty and students to vote on the creation of a student union.

The Jules L. Bailey Alumni House, originally built in 1931, is located at the corner of High and Bainbridge streets in downtown Houghton. The house was the home of Dr. Jules L. Bailey, a Houghton native who graduated from Houghton College in 1875. Bailey is best remembered for his involvement in the family business, the creation of the mining industry, and for his early involvement in the Latter-day Saint movement in Houghton, which resulted in his founding of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The home has since been restored and is a tourist destination for the Houghton community.

The Kishwaukee Chamber of Commerce will recognize 40 graduates from the business program during its 38th Annual Golf Outing and Awards Dinner on Friday, May 26, at The Villages Golf Course. Out of 40 graduates, 36 have found employment, three are still searching for a job and the other one is employed full time and volunteering in his community. Graduates from the engineering and management program will receive special recognition.

Four local business owners have joined together to form an economic revitalization group. The six-member group will meet with the Houghton-based private sector business owners to “share ideas, create a vision and develop a plan to further the prosperity of Houghton and our surrounding communities. The group’s initial focus will be on rural economic development.”

“A business group has been needed in our community for years. Having one now will be helpful for revitalization efforts in our towns. It’s never too late to make the change that is right for a community and that is the mindset I hope this group will have.” said Laurie Maulden, vice president of Kishwaukee Chamber of Commerce Board of Directors.

The group’s by-laws will include a corporate director from each business’ group (two from Ewing-Morton, two from Delavan, two from Kewanee and one from Hancock) that will direct and oversee the group. The corporate director will assist in the development of committees, oversee fundraising efforts, chair monthly meetings, and serve as spokesperson for the group.

If you or your business group is interested in joining the Kishwaukee Business Group, contact a Chamber of Commerce representative at 309-822-8366 or KWCCinfo@KishwaukeeChamber.org.

The district also saw a change in school board member April Jeffs. She was elected to the school board in April to replace Wayne Rine. Jeffs has worked as the principal at Richfield Elementary School for the past three years and is a 1987 graduate of Houghton High School.

Juvenile cases that were referred to the Houghton Police Department have decreased by 24.5 percent compared to 2016. These cases, which consist of both Houghton and Kewanee students, primarily involve various forms of violence. The most prevalent cause of these cases is possession of marijuana or other drugs. The Houghton Police Department takes a zero-tolerance approach when it comes to illegal drugs.

With graduation on the horizon, the Houghton-area social calendar is filling up. The Houghton Public Library hosted their Third Annual Graduation ceremony on May 10. The district had two graduating classes: Houghton High School and Richfield Elementary School. The Richfield Elementary School graduation will be held at 11 a.m. on June 7, in the Library. This is a fun and exciting event for families of Houghton students!

Houghton College graduation ceremonies will be held on Friday, June 9 and Saturday, June 10. High school and college students will be.

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