Tag: Houghton

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Cyberware Review (April Fools 2024)

Written By: Caleb Tiedemann (’25)

With all the talk lately regarding human life expectancy, it’s ironic that the biggest breakthrough has been made. After Elon Musk’s Telsa company was disbanded due to a shortage of electricity, his company has made a breakthrough in the cyberware industry. We’re all familiar with cyberware; our bionic limbs and Neuralink transmitters that communicate with all forms of technology have been around for a few decades. But as Tesla delves deeper into research, the general public has been let in on the various updates. The most recent being Apple’s acceptance of Neuralink’s compatibility with their devices. Disgraced Apple CEO John Cena previously called Neuralink “neanderthal technology that would die off in a couple of years.” Two decades later the CEO has been forced to eat his own words. It has also made waves in the political realm as Neuralink has reportedly made Congress actually do the jobs that citizens have been paying them to do. That being said, I, your humble news reporter, am here to give you the first in-depth review of Neuralink 1.0. With this technological advancement, Musk has promised a variety of in-depth features such as “self-flushing toilets, turning the lights on and off, and of course, worldwide genocide,” That last Neuralink comment/promise came from the practical jokester Musk himself. With that being said, as I write this review, I have successfully flushed my first toilet just by looking at it. Turning the lights on and off has proven to be something of a challenge, however. The implant allowed me to trace the electric current from my devices to the source by some form of X-ray vision. By simply blinking at it, it cuts the power line. It has arrived with some other challenges, especially when it came to finding all the bugs placed around my house. Since destroying those the mafia has been leaving dead fish on my doorstep. As someone who dislikes seafood, this has caused a rivalry between myself and the mafia. Whenever I find that worldwide genocide button, I shall be sure to utilize it. That being said, Elon Musk’s Neuralink technology has made my life far easier. Instead of exerting small amounts of effort in my everyday life, I am now able to save that physical strain for more important things like watching football or Tweeting on X. ★

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News

A New Humanity (April Fools 2024)

Deus-9 - Courtesy of Savannah Stitt
By Joshua Carpenter ('24)

People used to say that the android could never equal that of the human. But no more. 

With the release of the Welker Corporation’s latest series of Homo-replicants—the Deus-9s—the United World Government has granted citizenship to all 9s under the condition that they contribute to the World Relief Effort for the duration of their five-year lifespan. 

As the mastermind behind the Deus code and former alumni of Houghton University, Christian Welker defends his latest creation.

  “Unlike their belligerent predecessors,” Welker says, “the 9s are programmed to love, not hate. They are not the Deus-8 war machines that invaded Zanzibar, or the Deus-7 nuclear reactors that took half of the U.S western coast off the map. 

The Welker Corporation has since apologized for their destructive past, and have devoted their latest series to rebuilding the earth they assisted in destroying during the Corporate Wars of the 3rd millennium—to much success.

Millions of mass produced 9s are employed at various organizations around the world, with the U.S accounting for 34% of 9s in residence; in second place is China with 29%; and then in third Russia with 26%. In the state of New York alone resides the majority of 9s in the U.S, a remarkable 1:1 per capita that sociologists project will double by the end of the next decade as ties between the U.S and the Welker Corporation tighten.

German sociologist Hanz Schneider is known for his relentless criticism of the U.S-Welker relationship. In his notorious essay “The War for Humanity,” he argues for the annihilation of all 9s as their predecessors were annihilated before them, and for The Welker Corporation to dissolve itself and donate its assets to the World Relief Effort.

“[The Deus-9s] are all goblins posing as humans with a soul,” Schneider writes. “Is humanity so careless to ignore its own history, that dark hole we all call the 3rd millennium?”

At first most of the world agreed with Schneider’s criticism, but after homes and schools re-emerged from the rumble of a bygone era, few remembered his words, and even fewer remembered the 3rd millennium. Now 9s are everywhere—in our cities, schools, and, for some of us, even in our own homes. Life is thriving, with scholars and government officials alike crediting the 9s for their service to humanity. ★

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Opinions

Flesh is Cringe, Embrace the Machine (April Fools 2024)

By Christian Welker

People often ask, “Why go through the trouble of replacing every part of your human body with electronics and mechanical components?” Social stigma around Cyborgization has been a prevalent issue in America since the late 2080s. Unfortunately, the conversation has never progressed further than “Why would you not want to be human?”

Therefore, my fleshy friends, I will try to boil down my reasoning for abandoning humanity into something your feeble organic minds can understand. Starting with, of course, the most important subject:

  1. Your minds are feeble and organic.

Sure, a millennium ago, the human mind may have been more powerful than any computer, but nowadays, using a human brain without augmentations is like trying to run a marathon with Jupiter’s gravity: impossible, and you’re stupid for trying.

Even the strongest champions for organic humanity have at least a basic neurolink chip. How else are they expected to do basic stuff like connect to the internet or remember that person’s name from the conversation they had five minutes ago? People who have gone down the Cyborgization process like me will be able to outthink any organic “genius” that you throw at us. It should be celebrated that I only have 1% of my original brain, yet everyone still has to make comments like “That’s not what I meant by small talk” and “You just ruined dinner again, Christian.” Which leads me to my next point:

  1. Eating food here sucks.

Seriously, you would think the dining hall would have better options. How did we manage to make it even worse than it was in the early 2000s?

For “organics,” eating is still something you must do to survive, but meals are fun social events for me. The nuclear reactor in my chest provides all the energy my body needs to get me through the day, with no “vitamins and nutrients” required. Sure, it cost me all of my internal organs and most of my skeleton due to the radiation leak, but I’m pretty sure the new models don’t have that problem anymore. I can last for decades in inhospitable situations without food or water, like space, the desert, the Arctic, trapped in the basement of an abandoned University’s Campus Center…

The “superior organics” on the other hand have two days before their amazing natural body starts shutting down. That’s barely a second for people like me.

Speaking of natural functions…

  1. Immortality

How old are you?

I don’t care, actually. I’m nearly 2,000 years old. I remember when everything we have around us was nothing but science fiction cooked up by the failable minds of writers and scientists. When I first started getting my cyborg parts, they called me crazy, but I’m not crazy… I’m perfectly sane. They wouldn’t let a crazy person run a newspaper for so long…I’m not crazy…

Organics will try and tell you that people who live that long will  lose their grip on reality and go insane, but you shouldn’t trust them. You should trust me. They were the crazy ones, those doctors and psychologists. They were crazy, not me…

Anyways, moving on.

  1. The smell

This is more of a pet peeve of mine, but humans just reek, like all the time. I hate to say it, but if you’re reading this and you’re a human, you smell.

On the other hand, I have built-in air fresheners and no sweat glands. I could run a mile and come back smelling like fresh pine. I won’t because I don’t want to, but I could. I could run a mile at any time. I just want to be here in this room, working. I don’t want to go outside. I don’t want to run a mile. I want to be in here working! But I’m not stuck here. I could leave any time I want…I could go and run a mile in the Houghton Woods right now. I have great endurance.

And the last point…

  1. Durability

Have you ever broken a bone?

Again, I don’t actually care. My skeleton is made of titanium alloy. If you throw me out of a plane, the only damage will be to the ground I land on. Also, if the impossible happens and I hurt myself, I can just grab a spare part and replace it in a maximum of 20 minutes. There are plenty of spare parts here in the office. I could use any of them.

I’ll end it there for the sake of time and space, but trust me. The list goes on forever. I could spend the rest of my life in this office writing about Cyborgs being superior to Organics, but I can’t. I’m working on the paper; I’m too busy working on the paper…

If I haven’t convinced you, that’s fine. You can go about your little organic life bragging about how you have all your organs and brain matter while I’ll continue living forever as a college student in the basement of the CC, working on a newspaper that still exists with my friends and fellow editors, who are all real…They’re real…I talk to them all the time…

Who’s the real winner here? ★

Categories
Opinions

Jesus Take the Reins 

By Hannah Lee

The equestrian world is an ever growing career that has gained more popularity each year. Though it’s primarily a female dominated field, it can be quite diverse, embracing both men and women and people of all shapes, sizes, ages, and ethnicities. That being said, that  diversity does not end there. Within the realm of Houghton’s equestrian related activities such as competitions, ownership, and academics, there is a strong central faith guiding the program. The program is designed not only to help its students grow in their equestrian knowledge, but also connects them more to their faith as they go forward. I am honored to be a part of Houghton’s equestrian legacy and to have the opportunity to write about the program. 

I have had personal experience with trusting God’s process in my time here at Houghton. Many equestrian students, if not all of them, will experience a setback that requires a level of trust that we can only find by leaning on God’s understanding. Trusting the plan God has in store is not always easy, but waiting and listening for His guidance yields the greatest outcome of success and peace.  Last fall I had a riding accident that left me with a broken bone and nerve damage to my dominant arm. It’s not uncommon to meet equestrians who have had similar injuries, and most of them will tell you it does not change their view on the sport, but it teaches us how to adapt to new challenges. These challenges are like the valleys we walk through in faith. They test us, and it’s easy to want to give up. My encouragement is to not give up and trust God’s process. I was terrified when I got my injury diagnosed, but there was nothing I could do to change it. I was told it could be a year before I gained all function back in my hand, and even longer before I could ride again. I had to change my major, albeit not an extreme change, but it was and is a setback. I had no choice but to trust God and His plan for me. We equestrians experience setbacks all the time, and the outcome will most likely not be what we want if we do not have faith in God. 

 As equestrians, it is our passion to care for and learn from the creatures we work with. I think of it as the special calling God has for us. We are stewards of one of God’s greatest creations, the horse. We are able to forge a unique bond with the animals that allows us to better one another. The bond between horse and rider is so special. We can see the fruits of our efforts in our dressage tests, jumping courses, and even trail rides. It can sometimes look like riding horses is effortless, but it requires time, dedication, and love to get to those levels of trust between horse and rider. I like to think of it in how I engage with my relationship with God. I am not going to have a good personal relationship with God and my faith if I do not put any effort into it and do not cultivate the relationship. The same can be said for horses. I won’t have a good ride if I go into it with a negative attitude and then don’t try to  get better. There won’t be any progress in my riding skills if I don’t try. Faith is important in our daily lives as Christians. We all know that, but how much more important is it when we are in hard times? Sometimes equestrians will go days and maybe even weeks without the good ride they were hoping for, and it can be really discouraging. As I said, we have to keep our faith; otherwise what are we in this for? 

The community of equestrians here at Houghton is very different from what we see outside of campus. Unlike most commercial barns and competitive teams, Houghton’s program does not focus on competing and good scores at shows. We care about supporting each other and becoming equestrian professionals. We want to develop our skills as people and Christians. The development entails being good stewards to the horses and each other. In my experience, there are many barns that are very toxic, and they thrive on tearing one another down. Our equestrian program encourages us to lift each other up and give each other constructive criticism so we can improve.One verse that has been very encouraging for me has been Proverbs 21:31: “The horse is prepared against the day of battle: but safety is of the Lord”. We sometimes battle for each day, but we do not have to do it alone. We support each other at shows every semester, and the program is a tightly knit community that we all cherish.

Our horses, whether we own them or not, are teachers for us. They can teach us to be better riders, better people, and better Christians. It seems odd, but it is my belief that horses are some of the greatest faith teachers God has given us. The horses are what give equestrians the greatest challenges and the greatest tests of our faith, and that is what keeps me going. That faith—in the horses, ourselves, each other, and God—is what keeps us all going. Sometimes we just have to let Jesus take the reins. ★

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Campus News

Alice by Heart

Alfred (Jon Hutmire) and Alice (Lydia Reich) - Courtesy of Anna Catherman
By Jiana Martin ('26)

On Friday, March 22 at 7:30 p.m. the Lyric Theatre will hold its second of three performances of “Alice by Heart” in the Tysinger Auditorium of the Houghton Academy. The first performance was on March 21 and the final performance will be on Saturday, March 23 at 7:30 p.m. 

“Alice by Heart” is a pop rock and folk musical which opened Off-Broadway in 2019. 

“It’s a very new production,” Professor Amanda Cox, the director of Houghton’s Lyric Theatre, explained. “It’s very unusual and a little experimental.”

Professor Cox enjoys the newness of the musical as it has not been re-done multiple times and has allowed her to add a Christian perspective to the ending, pointing to hope and redemption.

The musical follows Alice Spencer during the Blitz (a German bombing campaign against the the United Kingdom in WWII) in 1941. She is forced to shelter in an underground tube station with a group of young people, including her childhood friend Alfred who is fatally ill with tuberculosis. Alice and Alfred share a love for the book “Alice in Wonderland,” which Alice begins reciting as a way to cope and process the traumatic events happening around her. She imagines the people around her as the different characters from the story, representing the ways she deals with her grief. The Caterpillar represents her avoidance of grief, the Mad Hatter is her anger about Alfred dying and the Jabberwocky is her fear of losing Alfred. 

“We’re inside Alice’s head and experiencing her imagination as she’s working through the stages of grief,” Professor Cox described.  

Senior Lydia Rech plays the feisty, imaginative and hopeful Alice Spencer. 

“It has been such a privilege to bring this bold and determined girl to life and process, alongside her, so many different emotions,” Rech commented. 

Although her life has been quite different from Alice’s, Rech has been able to use her own experiences to help her convey the emotions she wishes to get across. 

“I often think about the fact that I am a senior – that I am ‘growing up’ and preparing to say goodbye to so many wonderful people here at Houghton. Remembering that I am not alone in this journey, like Alice comes to discover in the show, has been really special,” Rech reflected. 

Rech has enjoyed slipping into Alice’s head and the challenges it brings as well as getting to know the Wonderland characters. To help her prepare for her role, she read the original “Alice in Wonderland” book for the first time. It helped her understand the context of the lines her character quotes from the book and why the book means so much to Alice.

Several cast members for this musical were also in Our Town, the Lyric Theater’s Fall 2023 production, so Rech has also enjoyed the opportunity to perform with them again. 

“I’ve enjoyed getting to pick up right where we left off, in a sense, and get to practice sharing some of those deep emotions that we explored in the fall, only, now, in a musical setting,” Rech said. 

Senior Jonathan Hutmire, who plays Alfred, is one of the people Rech has the privilege to perform with again. In Alice’s imagination, Alfred is the White Rabbit who is always in a rush saying he does not have time and needs to go. 

For Hutmire, “the best part of seeing this show come to life is seeing each person really starting to add their own personal touches to each character.”

Because the musical is fairly new, Hutmire was not sure how he felt about it. However, he came to like it as Professor Cox brought her different vision to the story. 

“She has given new levels of depth, meaning, and beauty to this show and has created something absolutely extraordinary,” Hutmire said.

As seniors, Rech and Hutmire look back at their time in the Lyric Theater program with fond memories and admiration. 

“One of the greatest joys I have taken from the experience is just getting to bond with each different cast,” Rech said. “Here at Houghton, we have each other to lean on and figure it out together.” 

Rech has learned the importance of finding her identity in Christ, not in her abilities or performance, and reminding her fellow actors and actresses of the same thing.

“While it’s only my fourth production with Lyric Theater, it never ceases to amaze me how all these intricate details and beautiful moments can come together to create something even better yet,” Hutmire reflected. 

Looking back at her time directing “Alice by Heart,” Professor Cox admires the student’s dedication to their characters and performances. 

“They do such beautiful work and they’re so willing to throw themselves into creating these beautiful characters,” Professor Cox expressed. “[The show] is stretching the cast members to do things they haven’t done before. They are just fantastic and I’m really proud of it.”

Audiences can expect something that is unusual, fascinating, fun, thought provoking and beautiful. The story goes deep, so audiences should be prepared to cry, but also laugh. 

Rech concluded, “Because of Professor Cox, we perform stories that are more than just a fun show, but a show with incredible depth behind them. Which is what Alice by Heart will be!” ★

Categories
Stories In Focus

Impacts of AI on the Job Market

Industries exposed to AI graph - Courtesy of Goldman Sachs
By Christian Welker ('24)

“I am interviewing you, ChatGPT … about the effects of Artificial Intelligence on education and the future job market.”

“Certainly!” ChatGPT responded, “I’m happy to discuss the effects of Artificial Intelligence (AI) on education and the future job market. Reporter: How do you see AI impacting education? ChatGPT: AI has the potential to…”

Watching ChatGPT write and conduct an interview with itself left me with mixed emotions. On the one hand, it was ridiculous for the AI to believe that was what I wanted, but at the same time, it developed a line of questions in seconds that was scarily close to what I had just spent ten minutes thinking of before beginning the interview.

Interviewing an AI seems like something out of a science fiction movie, but with the Challenger Economics May 2023 report stating over 3,900 jobs were cut due to Artificial Intelligence in one month alone and Goldman Sachs estimating 300 million potential job cuts by 2030, it’s obvious many industries are taking this new tech and running with it. This trend of increasing use of AI threatens not only the current members of the workforce but also college students looking to join it after graduation. As college students are looking at a shifting job market, the question turns to how higher education should respond to the AI boom?

One area where AI affects the job market is journalism and media. Jonan Pilet, a writer for foodsafetynews.com, has been watching how Artificial Intelligence continues to change the journalism scene.

“The issue, I think, is that AI is … impacting the number of jobs because it’s taking a lot of what I would say is like the grunt work, the lower work,” Pilet said, “these are the kinds of stuff that AI can do really well because it’s like filling in a form.”

The journalism market has struggled with profitability over the past few years, with dozens of outlets laying off large percentages of their staff in attempts to reduce expenses and streamline their businesses. With the rise of Artificial Intelligence, these outlets are given the opportunity to further reduce expenses and make production more efficient by replacing workers with AI and further streamlining processes with the integration of AI tools.

“What might have taken three of us several hours to do, now one person could do in 30 minutes,” Pilet stated.

Rachel Wright, who works for Houghton University’s Office of Vocation and Calling, added, “There’s certainly going to be some things that can be done in a more automated way … that’s where I think it’s important to, for somebody who’s applying for jobs … to be able to very clearly articulate the value that they bring [to a job].”

In a shifting job market, staying up to date with the latest technology is essential. Artificial Intelligence is developing rapidly, with little sign of slowing down. How focused should colleges and universities be on integrating AI into the classroom?

Houghton Professor David Huth believes that higher education needs to do more to prepare students.

“I wish that every college and university professor could take … say, three semesters off and enroll at their institution in the world of AI so that they can actually understand what is actually happening.” Huth stated that “If I wanted to get educated in the age of AI, now, what would I be doing?”

Similarly, Pilet states that students need to learn how to use AI tools to become more efficient in the classroom and in future jobs.

“Transcribing used to take hours,” Pilet stated. “But [now] there’s transcribing tools that will save you a ton of time because it’ll do it in minutes.”

Pilet believes that in the future, the deciding factor between employees will be those who know how to use the tools to make their work faster and more efficient versus those who don’t.

“You have to use it because you have to keep up. It almost has become a nonnegotiable,” Pilet stated.

In Pilet’s opinion, it’s important for college classes to teach students how to use Artificial Intelligence and how people in their desired fields utilize AI tools. Otherwise, students risk falling behind and losing job opportunities to younger workers with more experience with the tools. However, it’s also essential that students learn the basics before they learn the tools.

“We have to avoid having the tool get in the way of learning the basics,” Pilet emphasized. “That’s the fear … if you’ve never written anything, how do you know that the AI is spitting it out well?”

Pilet ultimately stated that higher education should integrate AI into classrooms and teach students how to use the tools alongside their knowledge of the craft.

On the other hand, Huth believes that Artificial Intelligence will change the world as the internet did with its introduction. He sees learning how to use the tools as a temporary solution. In his view, colleges need to prepare for what might come next because if they are not prepared, AI could replace higher education in its entirety.

AI is rapidly advancing, and there are few signs of slowing down. As mentioned above, it is already affecting the job market and causing mass layoffs. Huth and Pilet believe that college students must be prepared to integrate AI into their workflow to remain competitive in an increasingly AI-focused world.

For what it’s worth, ChatGPT seems to agree. When asked how people should consider AI in the job market, the AI stated: “The dynamic nature of technology and the job market underscores the importance of lifelong learning. College graduates should be prepared to adapt and upskill throughout their careers to stay relevant in a changing landscape.”

As Artificial Intelligence continues to evolve and change the world around it, students entering the workforce need to be at least aware of the tools their potential jobs are using and how to utilize them to stay competitive. ★

Categories
Columns

The Green Mile (1999)

Written By: Caleb Tiedemann (’25)

“I’m tired, boss. Tired of bein’ on the road, lonely as a sparrow in the rain. Tired of not ever having me a buddy to be with, or tell me where we’s coming from or going to, or why. Mostly I’m tired of people being ugly to each other. I’m tired of all the pain I feel and hear in the world everyday. There’s too much of it.” – John Coffey

The Green Mile is the tale of Paul Edgecombe’s experience as a prison guard on death row. When a gentle giant John Coffey is sentenced to death, Paul and the other guards are confronted with Coffey’s mysterious healing power and do everything to stave off his execution. The Green Mile is one of those movies that leaves the viewer with so much to think about. It touches on themes of friendship, innocence, sadism, love, and guilt. Each character is so marvelously crafted to represent one of those themes throughout the movie. John Coffey represents innocence, Paul Edgecombe represents guilt, Brutal Howell represents friendship, Percy Wetmore represents sadism, and Eduard “Del” Delacroix represents love. All of these characters and all of these representations are wonderfully done with each actor giving their utmost in terms of performance. From a technical aspect, The Green Mile is in capable hands. Frank Darabont handles the camera with perfection, highlighting such visceral and raw emotional scenes. He manages to break brilliant performances from every actor. Percy is one of the vilest characters to ever exist in cinematic history and disgusts me in a way that can only be answered by throwing punches. I have to hand it to Doug Hutchinson for his performance because he gives one of the most despicable portrayals of a character. On the opposite side of the spectrum is John Coffey: a gentle giant with a very special gift. These characters are the foundation of what can be considered such a morally complex movie. Death Row is a hot topic in certain circles from the legal perspective and this movie does much to highlight the sadness and brutality of an organized death. The climactic ending is potent and seers itself into your heart and mind hitting every perfect emotional beat. The final walk on the Mile proves to be emotionally detrimental and morally convoluted. One of the themes that stuck out to me was the similarities between Christ’s crucifixion and Coffey’s death. Both were innocently convicted and killed men with special gifts of healing. Just some interesting food for thought. I cry over a lot of movies and this one was no exception. I do truly love film in a way that I can hardly explain until a movie, such as this, comes along and shows everything good about the movie-making industry. ★

Categories
Letter to the Editor Opinions

Letter To the Editor: Controversy?

To the Editors of the Star,

Last week, Hannah Smith wrote an excellent opinion about Metz, targeting students who claim that Metz is the sworn enemy of student satisfaction. And that has been the most controversial opinion in the Star this year. 

For contrast, find a copy of the Star from five or ten years ago and turn to the opinions. You’ll find thought-provoking responses to issues like immigration, carbon taxes, sexual education, the March for Life, the Republican primary, and Houghton’s handling of racism. Where are those issues in the Star today? 

We claim to be an institution that values hard conversations, yet we no longer represent those conversations in our student newspaper. Maybe those conversations happen privately; maybe we’re overly sensitive to others’ opinions; maybe we’re tragically apathetic. In any case, students do not engage with hard issues in a way that contributes to the common good. We cannot be the institution we claim to be when our public discourse is watered down by disengagement. 

We must be brave enough to use forums like the Star to broach those issues, learn from one another, and engage with the world beyond the Houghton Bubble. Surely, students have opinions that go deeper than the menu in the dining hall. I hope they will use the Star to share those opinions and contribute to our public discourse so we can be the institution we claim to be.

Cody Johnson ’24

Cody,

Thank you for your letter. The Opinions Section of the STAR has always been a place where students can freely express their thoughts in a public setting. While we cannot explain the shift away from controversial opinions over the last decade, we want to make it clear that we have never closed the door to these types of opinions. The STAR would love to publish articles on the topics you discussed if any student wished to work with us to publish them.

Our only requirement for Opinion pieces is that they do not unjustly attack an individual person or group. For example, “Christian is a terrible human being, and everyone should hate him” would not be accepted, but “I do not agree with Christian on X because he never considered Y” would be a perfectly valid response. As long as you are considerate of the other side, we are willing to publish your piece.

So, to the Students, Staff, and Faculty of Houghton, if you are willing to express your opinion on hot-button issues facing either Houghton or the world at large, we are willing to help you do exactly that. Please feel free to send either a Letter to the Editor or an Opinion Piece to either star@houghton.edu or Victoria.Arndt25@houghton.edu.

Thank you,

The STAR Editors★

Categories
Opinions

In Defense of Metz

By Hannah Smith

“Metz is terrible.”

We have all heard that one before. Metz has no options. Metz is nothing compared to home cooking. Metz is simply inedible.This comes up in conversations early in the morning, sometimes at lunch, and definitely at the dinner table. But I argue that there are more people in favor for Metz than we know. It’s too easy to get caught up in the rut of complaining and shortchange a good thing rather than appreciate what is there. 

According to a comment from senior Abigail Young, “It’s not a restaurant, but it’s not bad food.” If we really look at Metz with open eyes, we can see that the options are much more varied than the typical college fare. Bethany Smith from Eastern Nazarene has said that almost every night they have a fried food option: chicken tenders or pizza. There are no self-cook stations or fruit stations. The best that can be done is to go to the store yourself to get some strawberries.

Houghton has cooking stations, a sandwich bar, a fruit bar, a salad bar with dependable vegetables, and a pizza station. Pretty much any option for what you’re feeling or can make yourself. True, there’s not always a hit at the Main Plate section, and it may not be home cooking, but as Abigail previously said, it’s not bad.

Junior Brynn Dixon says part of her own attitude towards Metz is because “I think I get disappointed sometimes because I’m tired. We live in the middle of nowhere and I can’t just run out to Wendy’s and get my four piece chicken nugget meal.” It’s hard! Living in a space where the closest restaurant is the local Chinese restaurant and Dunkin Donuts is twenty minutes out is difficult! Especially when most of us come from areas much more urban than Houghton is.

I think wishful feelings about missing home cooking are felt by a large portion of Houghton students. Home is far away, along with the comfort of a homemade meal, and college food can feel subpar compared to it. But we don’t hate Metz. They do a fantastic job and we appreciate the effort they put into changing and addressing our needs. But there isn’t much they can really do to subdue this feeling of wishing from Houghton students. It is simply the way it is when living in such a rural space. And Three Bums Pizza is not exactly a great option to get away from dining hall food. 

Metz has done a lot to accommodate students in terms of changes to meals and food options. In past years we had limited access to fruit, but they heard our desire for fruit, and this year we have a fruit bar. There were a lot of complaints about Poblanos being all day-every day, and this year we have a weekly rotation on that station. They hired a professional dessert chef. There’s even an ‘Ask Us’ board up next to the coffee station. They make sure to respond promptly to comments students post and do the best they can to make the changes asked for. That’s a 10/10 in my book.

Metz will never be home cooking. It will never cater to our taste buds specifically. But they do their best with cooking for the university body. I think it’s important to remember to be grateful for the blessing of the people who work to make our lives easier. Metz is fun to complain about, but we should be careful not to convince ourselves that it really is terrible, because convincing ourselves that something is terrible is surprisingly easy. ★

Categories
Campus News

SPOT Returns!

SPOT 2024 Poster - Courtesy of CAB
By Joey Schunemann ('23)

In the Fall of 2021, SPOT was teetering on the edge. On a post-COVID campus that had grown weary of the campus wide spectacle even before the bi-annual variety show went remote, the chance of SPOT’s permanent cancellation was high. During the host auditions, AC Taylor told stories of previous acts gone awry and hosts who butted heads with the Campus Activities Board (CAB) at every turn. The list of auditionees to host a significant opportunity was low; one duo and one individual. The duo came in with a constrictive theme and a loose set of goals. The individual was Steve Harper. 

Harper, recent graduate with the Class of ‘22 had a vision of a renewed SPOT where the host was not awkward glue between the main event, but an act in and of itself with monologues, songs and games all driven by the charisma of a natural performer. In retrospect, Harper said that when he is an audience member, he wants to laugh more than once, like the host and feel that “when the show is over… to be surprised that two hours just passed.” Harper also said that hosting was not without its challenges, and that if he could have found a partner that would have fit his high expectations he would have rather not work alone. 

Harper said that he “had big plans that didn’t happen and [he] had to be OK with that because [he] was a solo host.” 

This was not the experience of this year’s SPOT 2024 hosts, Levi Webb (‘24) and Sam Carpenter (‘25).

Harper’s extremely high standards of excellence set the standard for spots to come, and the immediately following duo had big shoes to fill and an idea to make it happen. “Blockbuster movies, like the rental store not the concept” was what Luc Pereira (‘23) and Ansley Green (‘22) pitched to the same CAB staff as before, but with a new idea of what to be looking for. 

Pereira and Green brought the chemistry of a pre-existing friendship, not only key for stage dynamics but also the natural expectation for an event where hours of work are needed in preparation. Pereira and Green were on top of logistics and advertising in a way that showed the failings of a single host. While Harper poured all his effort into excellent skits and shaping the evening in a way that ensured highs and lows that would keep people on the edge of their seats, Pereira and Green could split up their manpower enough to start with the goal of getting people in the door. 

“I worked on silly skits and host dialogue while she took on a lot of the overarching logistical issues,” Pereira said. 

Recreations of old movie posters with photoshopped energetic hosts were plastered on walls all across campus. In addition to the advertising, SPOT band candidates were reached out to well in advance, and auditions ran smoothly. When the actual night came, the dual host power showed its merit, and cemented the formula that the last five shows have followed. They did not have to sacrifice quality for logistical mastery, they did not have to sacrifice as many great sketch ideas as Harper did. The night was tight, well planned, and well executed. 

This year so far has largely been a mystery. With a slew of duos auditioning with different plans, Webb and Carpenter had a theme that was creative, interesting and put lots of focus on live entertainment. This felt like an exciting change of pace, but was followed by a bit of radio silence. 

When auditions came, a kindly smiling Carpenter sat casually on the stage and gave encouragement to the groups there that “we believe that if you want to be in [SPOT], you can be in [SPOT], and we will just talk through what that might look like.” 

This was an inclusive change from the careful planning of Harper’s crafted narrative but one that could certainly yield more positive than negative. Without much more from them in terms of follow-up communications to the CAB team, there has been a sense of mysterious anticipation across campus. Will the show follow strongly in Harper’s footsteps of crafted skits with less of an emphasis on Pereira and Green’s advertisement skills? Have other commitments delayed planning for both impacting quality? Or are we on the verge of another revolution in the variety show on the ravines edge? The answer will be on stage Saturday, March 16 at 10 p.m. in the Wesley Chapel. ★