Langdon Reflects on Equality Ride

Published: Sunday, March 28, 2010

Updated: Monday, March 29, 2010 13:03

Many people were involved in the March 9 Equality Ride visit, but only one individual had close ties with both the Soulforce organization and Houghton College. Because of this unique distinction, former Houghton student Andrew Langdon was tasked by his fellow Equality Riders with organizing the day's events. After the visit, The Houghton Star asked Langdon to reflect on his time at Houghton and share his thoughts about the March 9 visit.

Langdon said that he started at Houghton "struggling" with his identification as a gay man, but at the time, would not have self-identified as gay. He said that when he came to Houghton, he "found silence" when it came to discussing homosexuality and LGBTQ issues.

"Silence speaks" said Langdon, "and it said that [being gay] was not okay, so straight people need to come out as allies to the queer community, which is just as important as LGBT coming out." According to Langdon, it is very powerful to see students who are willing to put their privilege aside and stand up for what is right.

"I finally confronted it," said Langdon, and when he realized he wasn't going to stop being gay, began identifying himself as such, still wondering if his newly realized identity was "acceptable."

Then, he "went on a rampage," reading library books at school and researching, which is when he first discovered the Soulforce organization. "Finally, in reading, I realized that this makes sense and I am gay and there's nothing wrong with that."

However, Langdon had already developed a serious case of depression "related to rejecting self," and eventually left Houghton because he was struggling academically. "I left Houghton because my grades weren't good, but when I accepted myself my depression lifted, which is the biggest sign from God that this is a gift and this is valid," said Langdon. "I've just gotten comfortable enough to confront my past because I'm strong and healthy and queer."

Langdon said that he maintains strong ties with people at Houghton, but has tried to distance himself because he still harbors bad feelings about the school. "They've come to the point of being straight allies which, had I known that while at Houghton, would have made it better."

Langdon said that the day of the Equality Rid visit was "very healing" form him, and that, "because of our presence, that other me, a person who is in the same situation I was in, has not heard silence, but a voice of love and affirmation and they won't have the same experience I had."

"This conversation is not going to end," said Langdon. On the day of the visit, according to Langdon, Houghton students that he knew to be queer were "absolutely ecstatic." This was encouraging to him, because then "we're not just that group that made a fuss, but that we came on campus to stand alongside those that are already here. Seeing their joy…was incredible."