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I had a good chuckle when I first read the campus-wide email announcing that there would be a panel discussion on this topic. In typical senior class fashion, my first reaction was cynical. I assumed this was nothing more than a thinly veiled attempt by Student Life to prevent sunbathing on the Quad. I yelled to my flat-mates in the other room: "Seriously?! Men speaking to women about modesty?! You would, Houghton College! YOU SO WOULD!"
And yet, as so often happens to a cynic like me, I quickly found that my anger was misplaced. It turns out that the forum was not in fact initiated by Houghton administration, but rather by a group of female students who were interested in starting a conversation about the alleged battle faced by Christian males in pursuit of sexual "purity." I couldn't attend the panel discussion, so instead I went on my own little journey to try to get some perspective on this aspect of the male experience.
I asked a friend to describe to me what it is like for him (and, presumably, other males like him) when he sees a girl who is dressed "immodestly." He sheepishly said, "Remember that part in Finding Nemo when the shark is trying to not eat the fish? And then he smells blood in the water and his eyes go completely black? He forgets everything except going after the fish…It's kind of like that."
So what is it, then, that has the potential to derail the thoughts of an otherwise pious young man? What is the "blood in the water", so-to-speak?
In response to this question, Professor Hegeman, the only faculty member on the aforementioned panel discussion, says that the primary enemy of the purity-seeking male is his imagination. He says, "If I am walking around campus and I see a girl sunbathing in a bikini, my imagination explodes!" (I interpreted this as, "most men probably have a sexual fantasy about bikini-girl").
But since string bikinis are in short supply on campus, I guess I wasn't really sure what else males might consider to be "immodest dress." So I asked some guys about it. Their answers ranged from "shirts showing cleavage" to "tights are not pants!" One guy even mentioned that a particular "demeanor" of a female might arouse an unwelcome thought: "Sometimes just the way a girl carries herself or flirts with me seems sexual." Another said, "It sounds sad to say, but even if I see a girl bend over I might have to fight a sexual thought." So what I gathered, un-empirically of course, is that it is not just immodest clothing that men find tempting.
Shifting gears a bit, let's now ask the oft-forgotten question: what can males do to encourage females towards a life of purity? (Why haven't you asked this question, guys?) I think it's almost taboo in our culture to say so, but the truth is that women too experience a difficult battle for sexual purity. The "triggers" of sexual temptation might not be as pervasive, but they do exist for females. For example, every year, the guys from a particular dorm on campus make a show of running around campus in their boxers (I'm sorry, but what would you say if girls were running around the Quad in their bras and panties?). And while walking down to the flats last week (on a day that was not particularly hot, I might add), I noticed a guy riding his bike without a shirt on. I can't speak for all the women on campus, but I can speak for myself: seeing a nice-looking guy with no shirt on is not a helpful experience for my pursuit of sexual purity!
In the end, I think it's important to remember that sexual attraction in itself is not sinful. It is when sexual attraction is taken to a place in which another person is objectified and/or disrespected that it becomes questionable. Furthermore, I'm not sure it's the fault of bare-chested biker and bikini-wearer-on-the-Quad that they apparently have the potential to cause a member of the opposite sex to "stumble." Let's give ourselves a little more credit here - we aren't dogs. We can control our thoughts and our actions. Maybe it isn't easy. Maybe it will take hard work and discipline and perseverance and transparency. But isn't that ultimately what this whole "Christianity" thing is about?
Jess Lehsten is a senior Intercultural Studies Major].
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